


Late Night Thinking is Never a Good Thing

by Illuminati



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 17:50:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3497360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illuminati/pseuds/Illuminati
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I think I’ve loved you forever, Shinji,” Kaworu says one night while laying on his futon, and Shinji laughs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Late Night Thinking is Never a Good Thing

“I think I’ve loved you forever, Shinji,” Kaworu says one night while laying on his futon, and Shinji laughs. It wasn’t sweet, it wasn’t soft, it wasn’t happy, but Kaworu had loved that laugh forever, too.

There was fear in Shinji’s eyes. “Is that even _possible_? I-I mean, don’t you have to meet someone first to love them?” he asks. “I owe my existence to you, y’know,” Kaworu whispers, smiling at the other. Shinji’s face flushes.

“What do you mean?” “I mean, in the way that a mother gives birth to a child. If it had happened with a different person, if she had been in a different mood that day, if it had been just a second off... If you weren’t here right now, I wouldn’t even exist,” Kaworu explains, having stopped smiling halfway through.

The brunette didn’t quite have the expected reaction, and rolled over. “Then if that’s true, how many Ikari Shinji’s have died because of different circumstances? How can you even know I’m the right me?” Kaworu watched the tremors in Shinji’s body as he spoke.

“I’m sorry, that sounds stupid, doesn’t it? I’m stupid,” Shinji says, voice shaking. Kaworu is upset by this, but at the same time, he had thought the same of himself. He had thought about what Shinji was saying, too. “No, you’re not... Shinji, I know I love you, the you right here right now, because I love every Ikari Shinji in every place at every time. I will always love every Ikari Shinji in every place at every time, but I also know I especially love the one right in front of me.”

He touches Shinji’s shoulder, and immediately regrets it because Shinji flinches and curls in on himself instead of relaxing into the touch, like he should have. Kaworu takes his hand back. “You’re perfect, Shinji. I love you. Good night,” Kaworu says instead of trying to wrap his arms around the other boy.

Shinji can feel tears gathering in his eyes when he realizes that Kaworu is already asleep, and it’s too late to say ‘I love you too’. 

**Author's Note:**

> Neon Genesis Evangelion, huh? I think I've found the perfect anime for me. There are so many subtle, dark contemplations to explore.♥
> 
> Anyways. This could be canon-verse, but really, it's whatever you want.


End file.
